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Mad libs for Internet foreplay.

Scott McNulty has some problems with the Apple Store. I can’t blame him. I have to wear pants, and that makes me cranky.

Dan is joined by Jim Dalrymple and Merlin Mann. They talk about intense heat, hotels, writing, the evolution of the link blog, advertising online, guitars, and more.

Jim and Dan discuss Blackberry 10, Apple’s profit falling, 3 Monkey Amps, and Pro Co RAT2 Distortion Pedal.

Sponsored by Squarespace (use code DANSENTME1 for 10% off), Shutterstock (use code DANSENTME1 for 30% off), and Shopify.

It’s really easy to spread rumors in the tech press – here’s just one example.

Things aren’t looking good for Windows 8 when signs like this pop up.

MG Siegler responds to Microsoft’s pricing of the Surface Pro at $899.

TechHive examines five popular free blogging services.

The White House blog is promoting an event called the National Day of Civic Hacking, on June 1-2, 2013.

Pixelmator is a great image editing app and all that I use on my Mac.

The National Labor Relations Board supports employees using social media to talk about wages and working conditions, but not to post stupid shit.

Some dipshit at Forbes thiks Apple should replace Tim Cook with Jony Ive.

A Canadian college expelled a student after he uncovered a serious data security flaw, but he’s already getting job and scholarship offers.

The designer who made a name for himself last year by developing his own rebranding of Microsoft is going to work for the Xbox division this summer.

PayPal says “aggressive changes” are planned to its overzealous frozen funds policy.

A compendium of the worst tech keynote addresses ever includes Apple.

For some of us, writing is hard. Theo Sanderson has decided that it’s not quite hard enough and has created the “Up-Goer Five” text editor.

The name comes from a xkcd cartoon about a diagram of the Saturn V Rocket but explained using only the “ten hundred” words English speakers use most – thus, “The Up-Goer Five”.

Sanderson’s text editor lets you write about a topic of your choosing but it alerts you when you use “non-permitted words” in the applet’s text field.

Give it a try – Sanderson says it gave him “increased clarity” in his writing. It just made me even more frustrated with the writing process.

While Americans worry about things like “Why are we here?” and “What is the nature of the universe?”, we Canadians send our astronauts into space to ask good, down to earth questions.

Sony admitted that the motivation for the sale was to raise much-needed cash, expected to equal $770m, after debts on the building have been repaid.

They are renting the building back. Sounds a lot like what cash-strapped Nokia is being forced to do.

I’d like to thank AgileBits for sponsoring The Loop’s RSS feed this week with 1Password.

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It was updated this week with a number of new features. The season starts tomorrow.

Samsung Galaxy Fonblet.

Google has no shame.

I think I’ll just wave from now on.

Aubrey Johnson:

In late November, Nguyen was seated at the dinner table in Steve Job’s home on Waverly St in Palo Alto. Also present were Eddy Cue and Tim Cook and other Apple executives. Steve led the conversation while eating a beet salad:

“I’m going to give you a number, Bill, and if you like it, let’s do it and just be done with this whole thing. Okay?” Bill agreed.

Jobs passed a piece of paper to Nguyen and Bill nodded. The deal was done.

That’s the way you get shit done.

Grant Howitt describing his experience at the Panasonic Toughpad press conference:

I think Panasonic has invented a new kind of pixel. A bendy pixel. I don’t understand. What does PPI stand for? What am I doing with my life? Why am I here in this basement in Munich at the age of 26 staring at a man fire a laser pointer at a graph? How did this happen? I wanted to be a Sky Pirate. I don’t understand any of this.

You have to go read this. It’s hilarious.

Winning the Internet or acting like a dick? You be the judge.

Overcome the clutches of procrastination with Finish, a busy iPhone user’s best friend. Unlike other to-do apps that are “clever” for their own sake, only Finish takes advantage of how you naturally think. Finish gets in your face when you need it, stays out of the way when you don’t, and effortlessly keeps you focused the only thing that matters.

Love this — I just bought it.

An FAA proposal would prevent flight personnel from using electronic devices while the plane is operating, so your flight attendant won’t be distracted by a game of Angry Birds.