Apple:

Tim Cook, Apple’s CEO, and Peter Oppenheimer, Apple’s CFO, will host a conference call to announce the outcome of the Company’s discussions concerning its cash balance. Apple® will not be providing an update on the current quarter nor will any topics be discussed other than cash.Apple will provide live audio streaming of its conference call using Apple’s industry-leading QuickTime® multimedia software. The live webcast will begin at 6:00 a.m. PDT on March 19, 2012 at www.apple.com/quicktime/qtv/call31912.

Short version: “We have a buttload of cash. Here’s what we’re going to do with it.”