Mashable:

“It hurts me to admit it,” Sybil Marie Hicks wrote in her pre-written memorial to herself, which ran in the Spec after she died on Feb 2. “But I, Mrs. Ron Hicks from Baysville, have passed away.”

In the obituary, she affectionately wrote about her husband, Ron, whom she called a “Horse’s Ass,” and her children, clearly labeling which ones she liked best.

Even if I wrote my own obituary, I still wouldn’t be as cool as this woman.