The Onion: Samsung Apex Posted on Tuesday, July 2nd, 2013 at 12:19 pm. PTWritten by Jim Dalrymple Do not watch this at work or around kids, but watch it. satcomer That was pretty good. Th Onion hits a home run with this one. Odi Kosmatos I applaud Samsung for finally doing their own thing. TechManMike …..Doing their own thing…… davebarnes Apple is doomed. Agarun Ilyaguyev Indeed. There’s no way they’d be able to capture that portion of the market from Samsung.sellapplestocknow Peter Cohen Apple’s version goes up the bum, but you wouldn’t BELIEVE what it does to massage your prostate. Agarun Ilyaguyev Ah, well, there goes my lack of vision TechManMike Exactly. Apple won’t create it simply because it’ll be too confusing to have a product called iSuck. Mouthbreathers won’t be able to tell whether the product refers to Apple itself or their penises. Therefore they’ll complain about how Apple is too confusing, while getting a BJ. stsk Really good that the bland resident troll has gotten a job… Moeskido Perfect.Now waiting for Topolsky to complain that this doesn’t exist yet. Steven Fisher I liked it, but I found the throw-away about the college student at the end even better. lucascott I’ll wait for the second gen.