Assclowns

First the mainstream media pointed out how nobody was standing in line for the new iPads and sales were going to suck. Then when Apple announced this morning that they sold 3 million iPads in three days, instead of admitting they were wrong, the conspiracy theories started.

Let’s look at Peter Kafka at All Things D whining that Apple didn’t break out the numbers between the iPad 4 and iPad mini.

Apple says it sold three million iPads since Friday, when its new iPad mini and iPad 4 went on sale. But it isn’t breaking out its sales by model.

News flash for you Peter, Apple never breaks out numbers of multiple products in a category. iPods are iPods, iPhones are iPhones, and wait for it Peter, iPads are iPads.

Look at any Apple financial report and you will see the same thing. Apple does this for competitive reasons and they always have. Only someone with an obvious agenda, or is new to reporting on Apple and haven’t done their homework would question that.

It is true that Apple reported iPhone 5 sales numbers, but that was a single product launch, not a multiple product launch like the iPads.

Kafka also called into question Apple’s integrity by implying they were counting all iPad sales last weekend and comparing to sales of the new iPad in March. When has Apple ever done anything sleazy like that before.

Here’s a better question to ask Peter. Why not ask Microsoft, Amazon, Google, Samsung and RIM for actual sales numbers for their products. Apple provides them every quarter, but nobody else does. I’m not talking about vague shipments either, ask for numbers.



  • DBC

    QQ Bro

  • Zac Caslin

    Typical freetard assclowns as you say.

  • drkhrse

    Nothing is funnier than the word “Assclown”

    • js

      Asshat?

      • http://twitter.com/jgpmolloy John Molloy

        Neither of which are playable words in Letterpress.

  • Derrick S

    you sound more and more like john gruber.

  • http://twitter.com/Tame_Geek Mark Thomson

    Well said sir! It comes to the issue I have with Samsung’s S3 numbers – 30 million in 150 days – is that shipped, sold to carriers or in customers hands with out being returned?

    • http://twitter.com/jgpmolloy John Molloy

      Shame that’s like 10 days of Apple sales… :P (jk)

  • http://www.johncblandii.com John C. Bland II

    Agreed (on the numbers, not the post title; lol). I’m pleased hearing any numbers and wish Amazon/Google would announce device numbers.

    Samsung does announce numbers (see S3 selling 30M in 5 months).

    • http://twitter.com/jgpmolloy John Molloy

      Actually Samsung doesn’t announce numbers per se. Just when it suits them. Apple do at least release numbers every quarter and the first Monday after big product launches.

      • http://www.johncblandii.com John C. Bland II

        Uhhh…not sure that’s true. I am aware of them announcing S2, S3, Note 1 & 2, etc numbers.

        I don’t follow the numbers to the point of recalling them at will but I can’t say I know of any push to announce tablet numbers so maybe you’re right that they announce when it is convenient.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sebastian-Paul/1186812355 Sebastian Paul

          Oh, Samsung announced they had 9 million preorders for the SGS III – but unfortunately, those were preorders by providers, their preorders mean “We guess we could to sell up to xx units in the next six months, please ship us that many devices”.

          Apple also has those deals, like the one with Sprint, which planned to buy at least 30.5 million iPhones from 2011 to 2015.

          Preorders by providers are long term, while the numbers Apple posts after a release weekend count devices that are in the hands of a customer.

          • http://www.johncblandii.com John C. Bland II
          • studuncan

            Find one reference of actual numbers released by Samsung.

            You know, like this: http://www.apple.com/pr/library/

          • http://www.johncblandii.com John C. Bland II

            So the bar is to have a page of press releases with details? Is announcing numbers not enough?

            I don’t know Samsung’s site like you know Apple’s so can’t confirm whether they have a page.

          • studuncan

            No, the standard is to actually have the company release numbers. All I’ve ever seen is that other websites say that Samsung told them. No actual release from Samsung, no actual details.

          • http://www.johncblandii.com John C. Bland II

            :-|

            Ok.

          • studuncan

            Good argument. You are aware that Samsung does NOT release quarterly numbers, right? And hasn’t in like 2 years.

          • http://www.johncblandii.com John C. Bland II

            Thx.

            I don’t follow quarterly results. I read the summary from The Verge or relevant sites (iMore, Android Central, etc).

            Ultimately, I could care less if the company has an official marketing/press release on it as long as the numbers come up. It could be an off-hand comment to a reporter for all I care.

          • studuncan

            So you’re ok with misdirection, biased reporting, and lies?

            I’m done.

          • http://www.johncblandii.com John C. Bland II

            LMBO. Nope but 30M isn’t a misdirect, biased, or a lie so I’m cool w/ it.

          • studuncan

            So is that sales or shipped product?

          • http://www.johncblandii.com John C. Bland II

            From my reading, sales. No sites mentioned shipments.

          • http://www.johncblandii.com John C. Bland II
          • http://twitter.com/jgpmolloy John Molloy

            But 30 million in 5 months, while good for Android, isn’t all that good compared to Apple’s numbers.

          • http://www.johncblandii.com John C. Bland II

            Are we now talking how it compares to Apple or the fact that they released the #’s? Just saying.

          • tylernol

            GAAP “sales” and “shipments” are very different. Until you learn the difference, you do not have a leg to stand on.

          • http://www.johncblandii.com John C. Bland II

            I’m well aware of the difference and see no relevance as they touted “sales” (not shipments).

            I’m also well aware of when Samsung announced shipments for the Tab.

            Look folks, I’m not trying to argue Samsung is perfect here. No need to try to prove me wrong here. I’m merely saying Samsung has released numbers of sales before but also agree they’ve released shipments.

            To argue they haven’t, when they clearly have, is either blind hate for Samsung or uninformed commenting.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sebastian-Paul/1186812355 Sebastian Paul

            Yeah, and when they were still announcing every sales number, before they noticed that it is actually kinda dumb to announce sales numbers if the stuff you sell uses designs that you stole from other companies which might sue you – they announced 2 million GalaxyTabs.

            Turned out those numbers meant “shipped” and many industry insiders suspected actual sales to be in the low tens of thousands.

          • http://www.johncblandii.com John C. Bland II

            Did we switch to the Tab(s) or were you meaning the S3 still? Clearly the S3 numbers were announced and so were the Note numbers.

            Tabs were found to not infringe so I’m not sure what you mean. The “shipped” was a reference to the Tabs, as I recall, so no argument there.

            I’m just saying Samsung does announce numbers and agree they have not always provided sales #’s.

  • JS

    this comment applies here as well…RANT “This was published because it’s about Apple. The content is irrelevant. Articles about Apple draw page clicks. If you read the financial websites they all publish multiple articles a day about Apple on their homepage. Websites like thestreet.com often have contradictory articles on the homepage at the same time. Neither truth or facts matter. News organizations long ago gave of the search for fact and truth in favor of page clicks.” END OF RANT

  • 1337lolzorz

    Peter Kafka is probably just mad that he doesn’t own AAPL stocks

    • http://twitter.com/jgpmolloy John Molloy

      He’s probably not allowed to. AllThingsD have a very clear ethics statement. If you go to the article and click on the ethics statement link underneath the contributors picture you will see clearly that none of them own shares on the companies they are reporting on.

      • 1337lolzorz

        Then he’s just an assclown

      • Derrick S

        That doesn’t prevent their spouses from owning shares….it’s a mere technicality, and is how most “evangelists” go about promoting Apple.

        • Scruff0

          Your proof for that fairly generalised statement?

  • Mother Hydra

    This is just so Kafka-esque. WOOHOO! the guy is such a roach turd.

  • Canucker

    Here’s another assclown article about decreasing loyalty rates for iPhone:

    http://www.tomshardware.com/news/iPhone-Apple-Consumers-iOS-Android,18843.html

    Trouble is, these rates are by still far the industry highest. That data didn’t make the cut…

  • http://twitter.com/benjaminkim Ben Kim

    So he is accusing the most successful financially stable company in the world of securities fraud. Basically the withholding of supply to create false demand. What an idiot. He is making some wild assumptions. I will make some too. Apple would never risk its integrity by risking prosecution by the SEC and distrust from its shareholders for the inflation of sales numbers on one of its products. It is insane to imagine that maybe they are telling the truth and that they indeed ran out of their stock. Guess what if they did lie? Then their numbers will show it at the end of the quarter. What if I assumed that Peter Kafkas long hours at his job are clear evidence of his porn and drug problem? I would advise him to think carefully before accusing. His reputation itself is on the line with such comments.

  • studuncan

    The Verge also said Apple ‘claims’ to sell 3M iPads. They’re in the assclown grouping now too.

    • thedoctor101

      That headline seemed to be implying that they lied.

      • studuncan

        Hence the reason they’re in the assclown grouping now.

    • http://www.technovia.co.uk Ian Betteridge

      To be fair to The Verge, they used “touts” for Samsung’s sales announcement, which amounts to the same things. And they used “claimed” in the first sentence for Samsung too.

      • studuncan

        No, no it doesn’t.

        Touts implies they’re bragging. Claimed implies they’re lying.

  • Kyrke

    Right on! Bad motives are revealed when any tech reported tries to tear apart Apple’s released numbers while failing to call out the lack of numbers of Amazon, Samsung, Microsoft. All Things D should be ashamed.

  • http://twitter.com/RoadRacer DT

    As if regular clowns aren’t bad enough …

  • http://blog.charlespinker.com/ Charlie

    Can’t blame the man for wanting to know the split. Don’t you? This is splitting hairs.

  • http://www.thegraphicmac.com/ JimD

    Personally, I think people’s obsession with sales numbers and marketshare is ridiculous anyway. Unless you have a substantial investment in stock in this company or that, who gives a damn?

    While it’s nice to see that Apple sold a crap-load of iPads, it really doesn’t matter if it was 2 million or 2.2 million Minis – it’s still a crap-load.

  • http://twitter.com/Vengeur Brent Don

    Who stands in line to buy Apple products anymore? Surely not the majority of buyers. FedEx will bring it to your door ON LAUNCH DAY, no camping out required. It seems to me the only people who choose to wait in line at this point are doing so to enjoy the comraderie and the spectacle of launch day as an event. Tech writers who try to use product lines as some sort of augur of total sales seem to be oblivious to the way the majority of consumers shop now … online.

    • http://twitter.com/RoadRacer DT

      I experienced the best of both worlds: pre-ordered online, then spent the night and next in my driveway waiting for the FedEx truck … :D

  • http://twitter.com/BarnesJonathan Jonathan Barnes

    I is pointing problem with Apple me do journalism!