CNET’s stupid ‘Hands On’


While the Intel representatives wouldn’t allow us to hold the unannounced device or talk about in-depth specs, we were able to pry out some information.

How, and in what goddamn world, is that a ‘Hands On’?

  • Maybe in the alternate Fringe universe that is ‘Hands On’.

  • Perhaps some sort of astral projection or telekinesis? Or just a sad lack of a dictionary.

  • D Pauw

    They were too busy using their hands to try to balance their review.

  • That’s from the world where Words Don’t Mean Things.

  • You’ll sense it!

  • GeorgeS

    It all depends upon what their hands were on … Perhaps it wasn’t the tablet they were holding.

  • Imaginary hands!

  • Anon Coward

    In the world where anal pundits demand literal perfection.

    Kinda like when people whine about the perceived misuse of “bricking” or “hacking”.

    Yes, it true, “hands on” does not necessarily have to mean “hands on”. The end is nigh.

    • Sorry, but even with the loosest and most generous interpretation of “hands on”, this is an utter fail. It’s not a matter of being “anal” or “whining”. It’s simply taking the term for what it is supposed to mean. Hands on does not mean “don’t touch and we’ll answer a few vaguely worded questions to our satisfaction, not yours.”

      Nice try at being anti-pedantic….

      • Anon Coward

        We’ll they changed it to “Up close” so you can rest easy now.

        • Anon SuperCoward

          Hey, Anon, why the apostrophe in We’ll? that actually means “we will” – oh, you don’t think the meaning of words is particularly important. Sorry.

          • Blerg

            Probably autocorrect.

          • Don’t guess, Blerg: name an autocorrect system that changes “Well” to “We’ll”.

    • kibbles

      hands on means…hands on. there is no way to dance around it. this was not a hands-on report.

  • Ingo

    It was a “Hold Out“. They just misspelled it.

  • It’s “hands on” in the same way data providers’ “unlimited Internet” is unlimited.

  • Great Hands-On for me… Images don’t even load well off their servers…

  • JohnDoey

    The problem for CNET is their reason for being is to help consumers choose which counterfeit Apple product is the best for them. Now that Apple’s 3rd party hardware manufacturing is bigger than Microsoft’s 3rd party hardware manufacturing and Apple’s products are cheaper than Microsoft’s (iPhone 3GS, iPod touch 8GB, iPad 2, and MacBook Air 11-inch are all the cheapest products in their categories) there is no more reason for CNET. People can get the real products from Apple now, all over the world, in whatever quantities they need, with help from Apple themselves and from publications like Macworld or the Loop.

    So CNET is sort of cheerleading a return of the generic tech industry, so they grade on a curve and give a pass to anything that looks like it might fool a consumer into buying it.

    • Divebus

      To bad this fountain of wisdom won’t fit on a license plate. I’d have it.

    • mknopp

      LOL! Love it.

      Now I am just waiting for the people stuck in 1995 to come here and spout about the “Apple Tax”.

  • I believe it’s the new definition of “Hands On”. It matches AT&T’s definition of “Unlimited”.

    • Dave Robeson

      Or 4G.

  • “Keep your cotton-picking HANDS ON the table where we can see them.”

  • joeYYY1

    LOL, but really, what did you expect from CNET? This is sad really, it would be better if they let the intel PR department right the story for them.

  • C’mon, what are you people bitching about? Their hands were clearly on the camera they used to take the photos.

    At any rate, they’ve changed the title to “Up close with Lenovo’s prototype Windows 8 tablet”.

  • advocatus diaboli

    Their ‘hands’ were probably ‘on’ the keyboard as they spun their lack of anything to say into a posting to garner page views anyway. Unless of course they used a Speech-to-Text technology.

  • JimH

    In the parallel universe, of course, where Elizabeth II is Our Queen.

  • Jeffery Battersby

    It’s hands on like I was hands on with the prom queen in high school, which is to say that I wasn’t, in any way whatsoever.

  • “First Look”, maybe. I see they’ve apologised for the “misleading” headline and changed the title to “Up Close”.

  • Steve Zaske

    They didn’t specifically say THEIR hands.

  • Moe hands are Better than none?

    Damn, this is the Face Book age, right? Or did their stock just tank -after Zucker made everyone a sucker. I digress… Vat iz dis Intels du speaks ov?

  • vickypedia

    Ha! They’ve now changed it to ‘Up close’.

  • Prasado

    You are all misundestanding it! The journalists were invited to witness the Intel people laying their hands on the products!

  • Domicinator

    This is a pattern with CNET. It’s the biggest link bait site there is. They’re horrible about this kind of stuff, I don’t get why they never get called out on it.