∞ You're too stupid to review the MacBook Air if…

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There have been a lot of reviews posted about the MacBook Air in the last week and a surprising number of them show the incompetence of the writer rather than any problems with the computer.

[ad#Google Adsense 300x250 in story]It’s important for reviewers to remember that they are supposed to be offering readers valuable information. Putting out some false bravado and this feeling of superiority that comes with many reviews really doesn’t help anyone. The fact you can knock a product — any product — because it doesn’t measure up to a higher-end product really doesn’t take much skill.

After being frustrated reading the utter stupidity of some reviews, I decided to do a take on Jeff Foxworthy’s “You know you’re a redneck when…” skit. If you mentioned any of these in your review, this story is meant for you.

You are too stupid to review the MacBook Air if…

  • You complain that it’s not as fast as your MacBook Pro
  • You look for the FireWire port
  • You can’t figure out why the touchscreen doesn’t work
  • You want to boot your Mac Pro from the MacBook Air
  • You complain that the screen is smaller than your MacBook Pro
  • You think Adobe made the flash drives
  • You try to plug in your Ethernet cable
  • You complain that you felt tricked into purchasing a MacBook Air by Apple because you are too stupid to read the specs first
  • You read the specs and still don’t know why Adobe is making flash drives
  • You run 20 CPU intensive apps and complain the MacBook Air doesn’t measure up to your Mac Pro
  • You can’t find the eSATA port
  • You conclude that it can’t replace your MacBook Pro


  • Vamsmack

    Why are there no links to these articles? Name and shame!

    • http://www.loopinsight.com Peter Cohen

      Screw those bitches.

      • Steve W, Indialantic FL

        What he said.

    • http://www.yourmaclifeshow.com/ Shawn King

      Jim is too nice a Canadian to include URL’s so that we may identify, point and laugh at The Stupid.

      I’m not. :)

      Some of the above stupid is in from these two articles:
      What’s wrong with the new MacBook Air?
      First few hours with the new AiryBook

  • http://mcdevzone.com/ Mike C

    It’s best NOT to link to them so they don’t get any more traffic.

  • sunyen

    you missed out the worst one, from the you-know-who, shocking…

    - You complain that you’ll pay more than you will with Windows PCs!

  • http://www.thegraphicmac.com James

    Yeah, I would love to see a name associated with each of those stupid assessments. Thought I must admit, I would still like to see an Ethernet port…

  • janey

    I think you should also rip into the ridiculous “Android is better than iOS because…” articles that have come out today. They’re equally stupid.

  • Peter

    James, you can always get the Apple ethernet adapter, http://store.apple.com/us/product/MB442Z/A?mco=MTY3ODQ5OTY, for $29. I know you’d rather have it built in but having one available from Apple that uses existing software instead of having to load third-party USB ethernet drivers is a plus.

  • Nelson
  • Matty G

    Did someone even *marginally* credible actually say something that made you write the comment: “You think Adobe made the flash drives”?

    Because they need to be relieved of their keyboard, voice recorder or anything that could write for them. Forever.

    • Jim Dalrymple

      Actually, that one is me being sarcastic.

      • Matty G

        Whew! (wipes forehead)

        That’s good. Cause I was being nice about what should have been done to THAT writer. :D

        • Jim Dalrymple

          HAHAHAHA!!!!!

  • Kafka’s Vault

    Disclosure: I am not involved with IT at work and I only have a passing interest in the field purely for domestic purposes.

    Yet I can not honestly believe that there are paid ‘professionals’ that spout such utter garbage that even I know. I can only assume it is borne of that internet-age-old device of writing something that oozes link-baiting desperation that fuels discussion that creates points of contention that generates further page interest.

    Or our gene-pool already doomed.

  • http://onefps.net David Chartier

    What if I *do* conclude that it can replace my MacBook Pro? All I need is a writing machine, and a new 11″ MBA is rocking that so far.

    • Jim Dalrymple

      It certainly can, but if it can’t because you run a music studio, that’s not fair.

  • http://anwarchoukah.tumblr.com Anwar

    The only reason I need ethernet nowadays is to ftp into my xbox [non-360]. I’m really not sure I actually need it much longer.

    • http://paolosavonuzzi.org pl_svn

      … just try travelling south america, as I did, and you’ll find another one ;-)

    • http://www.loopinsight.com Peter Cohen

      Wow, really, Anwar? I picked up an MN-740 years ago for mine. Heck, I still use it on my 360. ;)

      • http://anwarchoukah.tumblr.com Anwar

        Heh! I feel a bit silly now. My wireless router allows me to ftp without ethernet, I found out accidentally. At roughly 1/7th of the speed mind you… (I was transferring something, wondering why it was so slow only to find out I wasn’t plugged in!)

        Phew, I almost agreed with Winer about something.

        I feel better now.

        I really like my 360, btw.

  • Sonat G

    Yes!
    Also the Mac Book Air is not as good as my Mac Book Pro because it doesn’ t make coffee like my Mac Book Pro does.

  • http://rob-of-cleargraphics.blogspot.com/ cgrscott

    LOL! These are great! Your points remind me of Lettermen’s “Top 10″ (or Jim Dalrymple’s “Top 12.”) :-)

  • diskgrinder

    it’s either wurrot, thiner, scoberle or endel

    • http://rob-of-cleargraphics.blogspot.com/ cgrscott

      Diskgrinder, you need to stop talking in Canadian so that us pedestrians can understand you. ;-)

  • Wilbur Goltermann

    Hey folks,

    The MacBook Air is, indeed, a cute computer and it has the singular advantage of having no moving parts – keyboard keys and track pad click pivot notwithstanding. Right off the bat, however, I have some serious doubts about the suggestion that anyone pointing out that the MacBook Pro is more computer than the MacBook Air is “too stupid to review the MacBook Air”. Let’s compare Apples to Apples ;-) and consider only 13″ devices. The solid state drive is nice, because it is slightly more reliable than a standard SATA drive, but I can’t see how you can ignore the fact that with only 1.6 pounds increase in weight, the Pro provides SUBSTANTIALLY more compute horsepower and far more interconnectivity than the Air, and at a much lower price. Does the Air take up any less desk space than the Pro? Not at all. And, let’s consider weight: Hey, we are not taking this thing backpacking for goodness sake; when we travel, we’re putting it in carry-on cases with wheels. How difficult is 4.5 lbs to deal with. And then, the space saved by the Air will be occupied by a change of underwear. When it comes down to it, I think that the only reason to buy the Air is to be conspicuous in our consumption.

    • http://rob-of-cleargraphics.blogspot.com/ cgrscott

      Wilbur, I have always had your reasoning about the Macbook Air. I want heavy iron to do my work and a Macbook Air is not that much lighter or smaller than the laptop that is right for me. I’ve seen Jason Snell talk a lot about how the size and wait of the Air is an important difference and he is good at making his case.

      But, I would rather have horsepower for less “$” and without taking on a lot more footprint and added wait.

    • Lucas

      I believe that Jim’s point is that if you are reviewing something, you should be reviewing what it is, not what it is not.

      Apple has never claimed that the Air is the end all and be all computer. That it does everything and is the right computer for everyone. And yet some reviews take the mindset that in fact that is exactly what Apple is claiming. And then proceed to rip the system apart because it is not good enough.

      It’s like ripping up a movie written for an audience of 10-12 year olds as bad because it won’t appeal to 50 year old film snobs.

  • sunyen

    one more:

    - You haven’t even finish writing that damn review!

    yes, that’s arstechnica for you ;P

  • http://www.mauricekessler.com Moeskido

    I’d much rather have names than links. These “reviewers” are the Tea Party wing of the tech world.

  • http://davidgmead.com daveygm

    Classic.

    I always find it funny when peoples expectations don’t scale with the product. The same reviewers dis the iPad for it’s small amount of RAM and 1 GHz processor. What people should be reviewing is how it accomplishes the tasks it was made for, not complaining that it can’t do something it isn’t supposed to.

    “What, I can’t play Starcraft II on my iPhone… I give it a 1/10 rating.”

  • Helen RW

    Very amusing, Jim. I need a new lappie right away and compulsively read all MPA reviews. I’ve seen all that jazz. Notice how few ever mention the touch of the keys, readability of the screen, balance, latch, or anything about using the card reader to back up files. What really matters is getting that 3D rendering finished in the airport between flights. While Tweeting.

    It all comes down to how bad writers tell us more about themselves than their topics. Every one of them says, ‘It’s a fine computer but I can’t believe Apple would mass produce a minimalist model that doesn’t exactly suit my extreme needs.’

    One more thing: Anybody who thinks hauling an extra pound is no big deal, has never spent all day on his feet and then checked into a hotel 50 times.

  • http://www.techlicious.com Josh Kirschner

    I’m primarily a Windows PC user and I was impressed by the Macbook Air – I can’t say that about every Mac I’ve used. And before you pile on, let me beat you too it: “You’re too stupid to review the MacBook Air if you are a Windows PC user”.

    Nonetheless, I’ll put myself out there as bait. Here’s my review of the Macbook Air:
    http://www.techlicious.com/blog/new-macbook-air-is-slimmer-and-faster-than-ever/. On point or not?

  • http://paolosavonuzzi.org pl_svn

    … you forgot “a guy” who wrote something like “wow: this new Air I just got is mind-blowing fast” … comparing it to his first gen Air with *mechanical* hd :-/

    • Lucas

      Actually saying that the new Air is amazingly fast compared to the old ones is a legit comment. Because it is focused on what the machine is, not what it isn’t.

      Saying it is slow compared to your MBP, or too slow to run Final Cut Pro (which it was never designed to do) would be the *facepalm*

      • http://paolosavonuzzi.org pl_svn

        … it is a legit comment when comparison is made between this one and *previous* generation, not *three generations ago* ;-)

  • Chiron (Paul)

    This is why you’ve got to love The Beard

    Thank you for putting a voice to my frustrations. It those kind of reviews that keep me from reading many websites & magazines.

    • Jim Dalrymple

      The beard salutes you!

  • http://www.ekosdeux.com Carlos

    I think my favorite so far is the guy runing 20 sites that are flash intensive, loading 20 pictures into photoshop, a bunch of other crazy things that make my MacBook Pro cry, and complains that the 11″ MBA has a small screen and is too slow. No $#it it has 2GB mem, 1.4 GHz CPU. Glad I’m not alone.

  • good computer, but….

    Despite claims by salesmen, Apple web site and Geniuses, the AIR bootcamp does not support Windows XP. Bad news when a guy has spent two weeks deciding and transferring and partitioning and installing so everything will be in top shape for a six month trip to Africa, leaving in five days.