∞ ABC News declares the 'iPad is no laptop,' well duh!

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Everyone stop what you’re doing, ABC News has a breaking story that will shake you to your technology foundations — “The iPad is no Laptop.”

That’s right, it took ABC News writer Alan Kohler two months to finally come to the conclusion that Apple’s iPad is not the same as a laptop computer. It may come as a startling revelation to Kohler, but the rest of the world knew that before the iPad was released.

Kohler says:

I tried to use an iPad as a laptop, I really did. Gave it two long, frustrating months, but that was enough. On Saturday I broke down and bought a new Macbook Pro. Oh the bliss on Sunday.

First of all, most people buy the iPad because it’s not a computer, but then he tries to replace a powerful MacBook Pro with an iPad. Besides the fact that he obviously has no idea what the iPad was intended to do, it took him two months to get there?

Saying an iPad is not a laptop is like saying a fork is not a spoon. Seems quite obvious to most of us. Yes, they both do similar things, but they have fundamental strengths and weaknesses that have to be understood before you review them.

I’m sure if I wrote how it took me two months of trying to eat soup with a fork that someone on the Internet would correct me. Especially if I complained how much of a failure the fork was at being a spoon.

Kohler says:

I am now an expert on the limitations of the iPad. It only opens one application at a time; it won’t operate Flash so many websites won’t work; it doesn’t have a good word processor; forget about doing much typing without a keyboard dock; the mail application is both clunky and limited.

Again, it’s clear that he wasn’t looking for an iPad. Oh, a little piece of advice — there is this technology called Bluetooth that you can USE TO CONNECT A KEYBOARD WIRELESSLY.

Here is another tip — Apple has this great thing called an App Store where can search and download apps, some for free. You can find plenty of good word processors there, but probably none that could fix Kohler’s article.

I am going to save ABC News some time for future stories.

The sun is bright; water is wet; and if you write a stupid article, a cranky bearded Canadian will call you out on a Monday morning.


  • Jerry

    Sorry Jim, but the high number of typos in your article leads one to guess you typed it on one of Alan Kohler’s “not-good word processors” on an iPad! (lol)

  • Jerry

    You can delete my previous comment. Upon reloading, the typos seem to have disappeared…..

    • Jim Dalrymple

      I think I pressed publish instead of preview when I was editing. I hate when that happens :)

  • John

    “The sun is bright; water is wet; and if you write a stupid article, a cranky bearded Canadian will call you out on a Monday morning.”

    Heh heh. Awesome, Jim.

  • http://mangochut.net mangochutney

    Stupidity is oozing out his article in quanitities almost unbearable to a moderately sane person.
    How in God’s name has he managed to keep his job for so long?

    The iPad is a client to a more powerful host, DUH!
    Trying to use it as a self-sufficient, all-in-one device, is like trying to make fried eggs with just the pan, omitting the oven.

    But the worst of it, is the word processor, because that is actually something where the iPad is in no way inferior to a laptop.
    You can’t do layout on it, but writing a letter, or any other form of document works just fine.

    Sent from my iPhone 4, another one of those pesky non-laptop-replacements that works as a client-computer.

  • Peter Cohen

    I would also like to note for the record that ABC News is not a bicycle, and that my cat is not a kitchen appliance.

    • Dean Lewis

      Well, that explains the hairballs on my toast.

      • Jack Roberts

        LOL!

  • http://www.yourmaclifeshow.com Shawn King

    “I bought The Australian’s $4.99 app but soon reverted back to using its website instead, which is far richer and free.”

    I like the fact that in the original article, the author loses focus and starts blaming *apps* for the iPad’s “weaknesses”. Don’t blame the iPad for the faults of the app developer.

  • Eric

    Having worked in the news business for so many years, the one thing I always noticed was journalists tend to be incapable of understanding two things in life. Religion and technology. They simply don’t seem to be interested in either subject, and so they tend to know a lot less than they should.

    When it comes to Apple, the two subjects seem to merge into one! Maybe some journalists, such as this bozo, end up being doubly myopic. :)

  • Erin

    Oh no. IT WON’T RUN FLASH. How HORRIBLE.

    Whatever. I use my iPad all the time and very rarely run into a website that just won’t function because the iPad doesn’t support Flash. What I DO notice is not there are the annoying Flash advertisements. But web pages that actually follow standards? They work just fine.

  • Sam

    It is worth noting that while not a laptop, the iPad actually makes a great traveling companion and CAN replace the laptop for short business trips and certain needs. I have no doubt that the iPad will gain more capabilities traditionally limited to full-blown laptops over time. While I think the referenced article is, indeed, inane, it is probably in response to some laptop-vs-iPad comparisons that have appeared over the last month.

  • Vamsmack

    Hey Jim don’t worry when our proposed internet filter comes in I will make sure anything this idiot writes gets filtered. What is scary is this guy in a financial journalist. After seeing that epic display of stupidity how could you trust any of his other reporting?

    I am going around to his house this morning to break his fingers for being so stupid.

    Clearly though this was written on a Monday which here in Australia half the population is still drunk from Friday night, I assume that is his excuse.

    • Jim Dalrymple

      Hey did you let this one get by? :)

      • Vamsmack

        I did but he hit publish instead of preview and it went live before I could stop it ;)

        You will notice comments are now disabled… heh.

  • Robb Mitchell

    But surely you would hope an editor or producer at ABC News would say “This is not a story for Alan Kohler, he doesn’t know a iPad from a cafeteria tray…” Right?

  • Rick

    I knew a laptop. That laptop was a friend of mine. You, iPad, are no laptop!

  • Angel T.

    Hey, if I can use my iPhone for 10 days as a “psudo-laptop” connection to the world I would be shocked that the iPad did not perform in a superior fashion.

  • http://www.cyclelogicpress.com Partners in Grime

    Gotta give him points for trying. Two months! The guy’s no quitter. :)

  • http://tinyurl.com/26725yj Gab

    I don’t have an Ipad and I knew it wasn’t a laptop.

  • Ferd

    No wonder ABC’s ratings keep getting lower and lower. Everyone and their grandma has more skills than Kohler. And he’s supposed to be some kind of tech journalist.

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  • Anonymous

    startling revelation to Kohler, but the rest of the world knew that before the iPad was released.

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    Saying an iPad is not a laptop is like saying a fork is not a spoon. Seems quite obvious to most of us. Yes, they both do similar things, but they have fundamental strengths and weaknesses that have to be understood before you review them

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    I am going to save ABC News some time for future stories.