Everyone stop what you’re doing, ABC News has a breaking story that will shake you to your technology foundations — “The iPad is no Laptop.” That’s right, it took ABC News writer Alan Kohler two months to finally come to the conclusion that Apple’s iPad is not the same as a laptop computer. It may come as a startling revelation to Kohler, but the rest of the world knew that before the iPad was released.

Kohler says:

I tried to use an iPad as a laptop, I really did. Gave it two long, frustrating months, but that was enough. On Saturday I broke down and bought a new Macbook Pro. Oh the bliss on Sunday.

First of all, most people buy the iPad because it’s not a computer, but then he tries to replace a powerful MacBook Pro with an iPad. Besides the fact that he obviously has no idea what the iPad was intended to do, it took him two months to get there?

Saying an iPad is not a laptop is like saying a fork is not a spoon. Seems quite obvious to most of us. Yes, they both do similar things, but they have fundamental strengths and weaknesses that have to be understood before you review them.

I’m sure if I wrote how it took me two months of trying to eat soup with a fork that someone on the Internet would correct me. Especially if I complained how much of a failure the fork was at being a spoon.

Kohler says:

I am now an expert on the limitations of the iPad. It only opens one application at a time; it won’t operate Flash so many websites won’t work; it doesn’t have a good word processor; forget about doing much typing without a keyboard dock; the mail application is both clunky and limited.

Again, it’s clear that he wasn’t looking for an iPad. Oh, a little piece of advice — there is this technology called Bluetooth that you can USE TO CONNECT A KEYBOARD WIRELESSLY.

Here is another tip — Apple has this great thing called an App Store where can search and download apps, some for free. You can find plenty of good word processors there, but probably none that could fix Kohler’s article.

I am going to save ABC News some time for future stories.

The sun is bright; water is wet; and if you write a stupid article, a cranky bearded Canadian will call you out on a Monday morning.